Paul's charge to Timothy

As the things of this world continues to feed deceitful lies into our daily lives, it's becoming harder and harder for me to stay grounded in the things I believe in. When I'm overcome with ungratefulness or losing self-control, I feel like the world is winning in my struggle with life. There are those days where I wish I didn't have to go to my 3 hour night class (or any class for that matter), or go to work, or go to church, or go meet up with friends...these wishes and feelings are actually becoming quite frequent; I just don't really feel like doing anything. Complaining has become a new hobby of mine. Crying has been 2010's reoccurring theme. God has been, somewhere in between.

But, there is hope! I have been renewed, by the Blood of the Lamb. I have been reminded by my mentor :)

At the end of 2 Timothy 4, Paul writes,

"I have fought the good fight,

I have finished the race,

I have kept the faith.

Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness,

which the Lord,

the righteous Judge,

will award to me on that day--and not only to me,

but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

As the world is slowly coming to an end, I ask myself, "Will I be able to repeat what Paul writes? Will I be able to say that i have fought the good fight? That I have finished the race? That I have kept the faith?" Paul lived a life that was devoted to spreading the Gospel--remaining faithful to God even as he was heavily persecuted. And yet, as I have the freedom to live in a land full of opportunities, to worship freely, to learn and achieve whatever my heart desires, I have failed. But, Paul reminds me once again (2 Corinthians 4:16-18),

"Therefore we do not lose heart.

Though outwardly we are wasting away,

yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory

that far out weights them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,

but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary,

but what is unseen is eternal."

and again (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

"Therefore,

If anyone is in Christ,

he is a new creation:

The old is gone,

the new has come!"

and again (Ephesians 2:8)

"For it is by grace you have been saved,

through faith--

and this is not from yourselves,

it is the gift of God--"

Paul reminds me once again, that one day I will be able to repeat the charge he has given to Timothy. That one day, I could say that I have fought the good fight, that I have finished the race, and that I have kept the faith.

One day.

food.

Psalm 103

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases

⁴ who redeems your life from the pits

and crowns you with love and compassion

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

⁶ The LORD works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed

⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,

his deeds to the people of Israel:

⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love

⁹ He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him

¹² as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass,

he flourishes like a flower of the field

¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting

the LORD's love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children's children-

¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

²² Praise the LORD, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Psalm 1

"Not so the wicked!

They are like chaff

that the wind blows away"

Psalm 1:4

According to Wikipedia, Chaff is "the inedible, dry, scaly protective casings of the seeds of cereal, grain or similar fine, dry, scaly plant material such as scaly parts of flowers, or finely chopped straw." During the days of the Old Testament, the women would shake the chaff to get rid of the shells so they can get the peanut, or whatever it is covering. They would throw it in the air, and the wind would blow the chaff away, and the women were left with the peanuts, or grain. Michelle talked about how those that sin are like chaff, unless we have a solid foundation, like a tree's roots

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

What he does prospers"

Psalm 1: 3

Even though we cannot see the roots of the tree, it is there, and firmly holding the tree from blowing away. If we are far from God, we become like Chaff--blown away with the wind. If we are righteous in that we seek a relationship with God--we will bear much fruit.

Be rooted,

In the word of God.

Chaff is so useless.

Be useful.

Be rooted.

addicted

so, i think i may have a problem...otherwise known as addiction.

i am addicted to Starbucks, and anything related to Starbucks.

i can't go one day without getting a drink from there; sometimes, two; i have yet to hit three.

i'm trying my best to control this addiction, but it's really hard, especially since they're literally EVERYWHERE i go.

maybe i should fast starbucks for a while.

room for debate.

every time i want to buy something for myself that i don't need, i always have to think realllllly long and hard about it. for weeks on end. i like to browse things online when i'm bored at work, and sometimes i'll click my size, fill out the shipping info, and then when i get to the credit card part, i "X" out of my box. HAHAH. i ALWAYS do that when i look at stuff online. i guess it's good that i'm not an impulsive decision maker, because i'd have all this crap for myself that i'd end up regretting.



Lately, God's been reaffirming my belief that there is no coincidence with Him. everything that happens in my life is planned and predestined, according to His will--just gotta trust, you know? I was really stressed out the beginning of January because i knew my current job would be cutting my hours to only 5 a week...and making minimum wage, that don't cover nothing! So, for an entire week, i couldn't get much sleep and didn't eat; i even didn't go to vegas with my family because i was so stressed out. But, after that week, i felt a calmness come over me. i didn't know why at that time, but i just wasn't stressed anymore. i felt like everything was going to be ok. i felt like God was going to provide, and that i just needed to trust Him--and He has provided. It's not by coincidence. It's not by chance. It's by God's grace. Thank You.

intentions

here i am, at your feet, in my brokenness complete.

i want to be broken, so that i may be intentional.

intentional with my faith and relationship with God.

I have learned that i cannot expect others to give, without me giving first; this must also be intentional.

if being broken means i come closer to understanding the depth of God's love and sacrifice, then break me.

break me so that i am forced to give all the pieces to Him, to fix and mend, because i cannot be mended if i am not giving God the broken pieces.

You are my Healer.

Make me intentional.

Unashamed.

I have not much

To offer You

Not near what You deserve

But still I come

Because Your cross

Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King

Of sympathy

Whose wounds secure my peace

Your grace extends

To call me friend

Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak

I know I'm unworthy

To call upon Your name

But because of grace

Because of Your mercy

I stand here unashamed

I can't explain

This kind of love

I'm humbled and amazed

That You'd come down

From heavens heights

And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet

In my brokeness complete